The Worst Criticism of E-Fedding Ever

Oooh, a post!

As many of you know, my love for wrestling has been rekindled in the last two years, so much so that it's grown my interests past the WWE and the other company masquerading as a major wrestling promotion (TNA for the rubes out there). Chikara is pretty much my favorite fed going right now. With their comic lucharesu stylings, it's hard not to see why. Their message board can be rough sometimes. It's a great read for the most part, but when they start getting on the hate train, well, game over, man, game over.

One such example of this came in about e-fedding. Look on Page 3 and get this nugget of blissful ignorance:

if you want to pretend to be a wrestler find a shitty wrestling school and train. or find a good wrestling school and train.

dont sit in your house typing about how hardcore your imaginary personality is...

There's training centers all over --- if you live in the north east theres litterally 100's of places you can learn, and im sure a smattering everywhere else as well. Some you can get good deals at.

Just become a wrestler. even if its for a little bit.

Oooh, where to start.

For one, most people who participate in e-fedding, at least in the FW/PTC corner, can't just pick up and go to wrestling school. For some, they can't afford it. For others, they're too entrenched in their real careers and just do e-fedding as a game or *shudder* hobby. For some others, health concerns get in the way. It's way easier said than done, people.

Two, wrestling is a fucked up business. Let me repeat that, wrestling is a fucked up business. You take body-degrading bumps every night you work. You travel long distances in cramped cars, or have to end up spending all your purse if you want to fly to where you're going. You work for sleazy promoters. You may end up getting addicted to painkillers just to deal with the aches and pains. You share a locker room with some of the most depraved individuals ever (I've heard the stories, they're not pretty). I mean, God bless people who have the mental constitution to enter the business, but it's not for everyone. Why should people who want to express their fandom by pretending to be a wrestler compromise their relatively normal lives for the freakshow that is professional wrestling?

Three, people e-fed to express their creativity (or try to at least). In wrestling, even at the low indie level, your creativity is stifled from the very start. You have bookers and writers telling you what your gimmick is and what you're supposed to say. Granted, there's way more freedom at the indie level than there is in the terribly-scripted WWE or TNA, but still, a lot of times, you don't have control over your content. Screw that, unless the fedhead you're working for is a total douche, you have complete freedom. No restraints at all. Sometimes, this can be a bad thing, but I'd rather err on the side of letting people be free rather than restricting them.

Honestly, this criticism of e-fedding smacks of ignorant elitism. Oooh, let's make fun of the roleplayers! They're D&D nerds! My response? So fucking what? Everyone has their nerdy side, and if they don't, well, they probably have anuses tighter than an infant's belly button. Next thing you know, they'll be saying you can't play fantasy football unless you try out for the NFL, or that you can't criticize actors unless you were in a school play. Total and complete horsecrap.

There's no better way to express your fandom for wrestling than to pretend that you're a wrestler. Live vicariously through e-fedding (and through Smackdown vs. RAW or other video games). Keep your health and your creativity intact. This is a great game. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Unfamiliarity Breeds Contempt

What is it about tournaments that gets everyone's panties in an uproar? Christ, you would think that we'd all have learned our lessons by now... tournaments where diverse crowds come together and mesh are recipes for disaster. A lot of times, you get guys who think their shit doesn't stink coming into a tournament, posting something that is unfamiliar to the tournament administration and then ends up losing. Then, afterwards, there's some kind of stink. This time, it wasn't so much raised publicly in the area of e-fedding by the guy who felt he was wronged, but it by two of my other fellow bloggers, Billy Ferraro and Dave Brunk.

The incident happened in something called the Total J Cup Tournament, which was entered by a bunch of people from feds that I don't know... and then Pete Russo, who entered Impulse/Randall Knox. Apparently, he got jobbed in the first round to a guy who broke some of the cardinal rules of e-fedding, some real asshole n00b shit. I read the excerpt of the RP that this guy wrote and actually bete Impulse with. He basically rewrote history for Impulse's character to retrofit the promo he had in mind for whatever opponent he had going for him. It's one thing to put on the no-sell for a guy you don't know about (one of the more annoying techniques I come across in my travels), but it's downright unfair to write someone else's character, especially someone foreign to the community.

Billy was the first to speak out, and he tore the whole operation, the organizer, the RPer (whom I wouldn't let within a 5-website radius of any tournament or fed I would theoretically run), Ben Halkum for associating with them and trying to bring them into the FW fold... Brunk then followed up with a scathing tome of isolationism, with Katz following up in the comments that the reason why it happened was because folks like me and Halkum are too nice.

Let's face it... it's basically the kind of thing that I took the WfWA to task for. The fact that objectively, Pete's beef is way, way, way, WAY more legit than the assfucks at the WfWA who bitched about Nova's talent amounting to that of a midcarder in their feds beating out the "stellar" writing of their luminaries like Khalid Jad, really doesn't make much of a difference. On the surface it's bush league, but not because they're complaining about this kind of shabby treatment.

I won't take them to task for feeling the way they do, but I will say I told you so.

I was naive once, I thought I could invite people from different communities to partake in a TEAM event and judge it fairly enough that everyone would be happy, even if they didn't win. Hey, I had PTC guys in my tournaments and they adjusted fine. Of course, it didn't hurt that they were enough good e-wrestlers coming over to give the image that they'd be treated fairly, but I can't put over the maturity of their guys that came over and even didn't place well in events enough, the straggling Chris Bagwell aside (a straggler that actually didn't get disgruntled until I left my post, actually).

So I sought out more communities, which was a mistake. I had the luxury of going to a community that featured a lot of older handlers, a lot of handlers who knew FW personalities via the fWo and Katz's headway that he made shilling for NFW over there first. And I paid the price. It took a long time for me to get my enthusiasm back, and you could say that I never fully did maybe until now.

But the thing was that the lesson was mainly public. It was there plain as day - People fear what they don't understand, and they lash out at the stranger because it's the easy thing to do, especially when the people we're talking about are younger and more stubborn in what they think is good. A tactic that most sane people think is bushleague might be considered "taking the bull by the horns" or... wait for it... "avant-garde" by some other retarded communities where dick-measuring between characters is done mainly with banners and graphics rather than writing quality.

It's because of crap like that that I don't fully disagree with what Brunk had to say. Sure, e-fed isolationism is a sad thing to practice, but it's a very welcoming strategy to practice at times. In a world where every community is different and where partnerships like the one shared by FW and PTC are few and far between, it's not worth the effort to make a bridge so that testy armies can have chances to get at someone else's throats.

That's why I give this advice. If you want to try something new, go to a different community or the like, be prepared to take a lot of shit. Carry the burden silently. Don't bitch in public when you get beat on bullshit tactics. It's bullshit, but take it to the man, and if he doesn't listen to you, fuck, it's their loss, not yours. Know that you're going into hostile territory and that you may never be able to win anyone over with a style of writing that is unfamiliar.

This is still a game dominated by the immature and the insular. FW and PTC are the exceptions to the rule. We do this for fun, and I think that the options available to us are good enough to satisfy unless you're not a fan of delays between cards and want something more regular. It's not worth it to go somewhere where the kids rule the roost and just want more fresh meat to carve up and serve to their n00bish "main eventers".

A Short-Lived Retirement

Yeah, so just in case you haven't figured out by now, I'm coming out of retirement. I know, didn't I just retire a few months ago, you Brett Favre you? Well, for one, if you call me Brett Favre, I'll punch you in the nose. Two, well... I don't have a two.

So why come out of retirement now? Why even go into retirement and make a big deal if you're coming out again in less than a year? Well, a few things. One, at the time, I was tapped for ideas and didn't really have the time to put thoughts to Notepad or the desire to be on a schedule anymore. Of course, it didn't help that I was still RPing in TEAM, EPW, A1E, NFW and LVW. Having that much of a workload, even with the given sparsity of results and RP periods, was a bit too much for me as I was still adjusting to married life and enjoying things like my Wii or watching copious amounts of wrestling and blogging about it on my other blog (bee-tee-dubya, ARE YOU READING IT YET, BITCHES?).

Two, to come out now, well, don't laugh, but my interest in "real" wrestling has sparked an interest in eW again, especially listening to the gamut of promos from following various feds from the WWE down to Chikara, some great (CM Punk, MVP, Austin Aries, Chris Jericho) and some of them terri-bad (the Young Bucks, Tyler Black, Batista, Amasis). The former inspire me to aspire to their greatness and the latter inspire me to show the bad promos how the fuck it's done.

Three, well, judging PTC's GTT7 got the fires going. Even though I prefer writing the FW/wrestling promo style over the PTC/narrative story style, I still feel like I have one more story to tell over there, which will most certainly come in GTT8 if/when it happens.

So, what does this all mean? Where am I going? Well, for now, it'll just be EPW and maybe spot appearances elsewhere. I don't want to make the mistake of spreading myself too thinly and then burning out again. When I get back in the groove or get more time, who knows. Maybe a return to A1E, my ancestral home, will be in order. Maybe I'll try NFW again, or give Billy F's NLW a shot.

It also means a more concerted effort to try and get some content going for the blog and to read more e-fed related stuff. I felt bad that I never got Project Discovery Channel up and running like I wanted to. I always thought it would be an easy content grab even if I wasn't following e-feds like I was during the height of the blog. That'll still be on the table, as well as a lot of EPW-related stuff.

So yeah, I'm officially back. Please, hold your tomatoes until I post my first RP :p

GTT7

Holy crap! I'm updating this blog!

The thing that has gotten me to dust off the "new post" button on this blog rather than the Wrestling Blog (are you reading it yet, bitches?) is GTT7. After taking two years off, many people thought that with the shift from e-wrestling to creative writing that PTC was undergoing, that there'd never be another GTT. Well, Ross and Pete have brought it back, and I have to say, they're doing a great job hyping it and promoting it. Of course, I was supposed to help them promote it, but I got caught up marking out for Chikara and CM Punk rather than PRIME and Joe the Plumber.

If you take a gander around the forum, you'll see that the bigwigs have done a fantastic job of crafting excitement and anticipation for the tournament's start. In an era where hype has become just throwing up a post in an advertisement forum, this is art. It almost made me want to break retirement to join up, almost being the operative word. (gonna tough it out for a year before even thinking about returning, btw)

While it's not much of a post, I figure Ross and Pete deserve a pat on the back for creating a vibrant and lively event surrounding their marquee tournament. Here's hoping that it's a rousing success and that as few people no-show as humanly possible.

Viva GTT!

Feedback Plz: Roderick McRatrick

The last time I took time off/contemplated retirement and then came back, I did so secretly under the guise of a deviously idiotic and amoral character known as Roderick McRatrick. I had people going for awhile, but then I revealed myself, although I'm not sure if it came out naturally or if someone *cough*Lindz*cough* forced it out of me. Ah well.

Anyway, here are some of Roddy's greatest hits. Why am I posting them? Well, because I want feedback. For a guy like myself who's known more for handling comedically biased characters (you could argue Maggot and Captain Suleimon were the only ones that didn't have a built in sense of humor about them, and even that's debatable), Roddy, to me, is my most funny work. Comedy is a lot more subjective than regular e-fedding, so I want to get feedback from all of youse out there. Without further ado:

The Debut of the Ghost of Steve Guttenberg - Scroll down for more hijinks with Homsar of HSR.com fame
Roderick in Japan
Lord Tophattington and All of Roddy's Friends
The Debut of Randy McRanderson
Vs. Dan Ryan!
The Debut of Real Ultimate Power
A Visit to Santa!
Roderick Tools a Future A1E World Champion
Roderick's First Apperance at FWC... featuring POWERMASTER~!

I want honest feedback. How does the character hold up after all these years? I want to know, because in a way, Roderick feels like my best character.

Holy Crap, I Read Three Shows Today!

Seriously, how the hell did that happen? Maybe I'm getting more attentive in my old age ;) But yeah, I guess a slow day at work will give you something to want to do to pass the time that isn't playing flash games on the Intarwebs or bait trolls on message boards. That being said, here are the shows:

NFW Brawl: Kansas City - I've been out of the loop for awhile, although I've heard about the Dorchester Stratton, Cuatro Equis and other stuff, so I was a little bit disoriented. However, I thought it was a fun read, as most NFW Brawl shows are.

PRIME Revolution 200 - If I was out of the loop on NFW, I was lost in deep space on PRIME. I recognized some of the names, but a lot of the backstory was lost on me. Tyler Rayne's gone? Jason Snow is not only in e-fedding, but is the PRIME Universal Champion (I thought he'd have abandoned eW for creative writing sans wrestling a long time ago :p)? Talk about a... culture shock (pun intended). Still, for me not knowing a whole lot of what was going on, I thought it was a good show. I loved the concept as well. I thought the Shakur-as-Rayne swerve was pretty neat too. Congrats to ShadowKat, who won the Power Play BR with Kazys Jankauskas, and now has a banked Uni Title shot. Whoda thunk it?

EPW Aggression 45 - Finally, a fed that I'm not totally lost in, seeing as how it was one of the last feds I handled in before my retirement/hiatus (?!?!). As usual, a good show from EPW, but this week, something was a bit off. For one, the beginning... where did the show intro go? We went right into a match coming back from commercial. And Sarge was on two matches on the card? Weird. Still, a good read and a good effort from all those involved. Congrats to WF for capturing the TV Title as well.

A *gasp* News Post?

Criminy!

- As what accounts to "old news", NEW and WFW have merged. I cryptically referred to the merger in a previous post, but now it's official. I think it's a good move. Paul Miller has always had loyal RPers for WFW, and now that he has help with Sean Edmunds (who has completed law school and should have more time), the fed can help with this mini-renaissance that FW.com's leagues are undergoing.

- In what is huge news, Pete Speer over at PTC has announced that GTT, PTC's premier tournament, will be coming back from hiatus this year. As a former participant, critic, fan and follower of past tourneys, I have to say that this is exciting news. Will it lure some former PTC fed RPers out of retirement and perhaps back into active competition? Maybe, maybe not, but even if it's just an outlet for currently active handlers to do something, it'll be a success.

- Another bit of PTC news, Pete has also posted the first bit of hype for PWN, which will presumably be his first foray into fedheading since stepping down from PRIME in 2006. This piece is actually portrayed as a news story from the '50s and it implies that PWN in character would have been around for at least 80 years or so. The idea is fantastic, but my fear is that much like Mat Waters' much hyped and promoted One World Wrestling, this fed will peter out after a few shows. Let's keep an eye on this, and hopefully, it will become the next PTC stalwart fed.

Moves I'd Like to See More of, Pt. 1 - Submission Finishers

E-wrestlers are so creative in the ways they come up with finishers, scour the indies for lesser known moves or just add their own flair to existing moves to make them unique. Even with that reputation in tow, there are still a bunch of moves out there that I think could get over in e-fedding. Today, I'll give you three submission holds that would be awesome finishers for any technical-minded grappler:

London Dungeon


58 seconds into this video and you'll find Nigel McGuinness' signature submission hold. It's a great ending move for a guy who likes to work the arm.

Hammerlock Beast Choker
I couldn't find a Youtube of this, but I think this could be a great choke-out move. Basically, the user puts the victim in a hard hammerlock, floats around to the front and puts the victim in a front chancery. The user grabs the hammerlock with the same hand used to put the victim in the chancery, pops back in a DDTing motion and proceeds to induce the tapout.

Horns of Aries


In the same vein as Cattle Mutilation, but a much more effective looking move. Why this hasn't caught on yet, I don't know.

El Plagiarismo

Most crimes are forgiveable. Most crimes are rehabilitatable [sic]. In the most general sense, if you screw up, you can be forgiven and reaccepted. There are exceptions, the most notable being those found dead to rights as being a plagiarist at PTC. Given that most PTC feds foster a different kind of writing than what you'd find at FW or other promo fed circuits, plagiarism is a much, much larger problem there.

When a plagiarist is brought to light, well, it can get ugly, quickly. More often than not, the plagiarist isn't really welcome in any PTC-related fed or event. Example, this thread where a returning guy by the handle "Educator" is trying to make friendly with the community. He was perhaps the most infamous plagiarist in AWC history, using stolen work to gain all the top titles in the fed.

So, no one should be surprised at the reception he's gotten thus far, and you know what? I don't blame them one bit. There are certain things you should understand about this game and about the environments it is played in. You don't go looking for a second chance at PTC if you've stolen someone's work. I mean, it doesn't matter if you've stolen it from a fellow e-wrestler (which to me, is the ultimate in unforgiveable crimes) or from some author on the Internet somewhere. Don't expect them to want to take you back if you've done that in the past.

I mean, to some it may seem irrational, but plagiarism isn't easily monitored. Once someone is found out to be a plagiarist, the fedheads and interfedheads have to now check every single one of his/her work against Google. Really, anything else, fed cancers, shooting, etc. is easily monitored, and it's easy to see if people change or not.

And for all those who think that plagiarism doesn't really hurt anyone, well, think again. The Jewish religion has been the center of a worldwide conspiracy because of a plagiarized work. Have you ever heard of the book The Protocols of the Elders of Zion? It's a book that's regarded as the manifesto for Jewish world domination, trumpeted by anti-Semite groups everywhere. It's also a raging fake, a plagiarism of a satirical book about Napoleon III.

That is an outlandish example, but really, if I were running a PTC fed or a writing event at PTC, why the hell should I want a plagiarist involved? Regardless of what you think about the offense, PTC takes it seriously. If you don't like their stance, then go somewhere else and either try to start fresh or pull the wool over their eyes. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

FMLL

I may be retired, but that doesn't mean I can't shill for an awesome concept when I see one, and peeps, I certainly see one in Federación Mundial de Lucha Libre. FMLL is run by Ryan Aston, handler of Shawn Hart and his band of merry misfit friends and relatives. Aston is a nut for the art of lucha libre, so you know that this fed will be the real deal.

I know what the biggest reason for not joining will be. "I don't know enough about lucha libre to try it out." It's true, lucha isn't a fully understood wrestling form in America, but both Aston and the handlers in the fed who do know a thing or two about lucha will be more than happy to help along those looking to pop their Mexican wrestling cherry. And as with any new fed, you'll be getting in on the ground floor.

Please, give FMLL a look and a try. I love it when new ideas come along, and this is about as different as it's going to get.

The Finishing Touch

I've been around the e-fed circuits for almost a decade, and when you see as many feds and as many e-wrestlers as I do, you get exposed to a lot of different philosophies on wrestling movesets and finishing moves. Many of them are ports of famous wrestling finishers, mostly uranage/Rock Bottom clones, Stunner/Ace Crusher/Diamond Cutter variants, simple powerbombs, superkicks and over the shoulder piledrivers. Sometimes you get a run on finishers that are hot at the time, like the *ugh* Canadian Destroyer.

Although this is a point I've made before, I'll say it again: it's perfectly natural and acceptable to borrow moves from our favorite wrestlers. I mean, we wouldn't be in this game if it weren't for those guys, right? Since wrestlers usually outlast feds in our game, it's acceptable, if a little annoying, to see multiple guys with the same finisher. Usually, if you have a finisher, you've had it before you entered a certain fed where another tenured guy there has it. However, I like it best when someone either creates a move or picks one that's so rare or out there that it makes you mark out just reading the profile. Other moves just fit their characters so well that it doesn't matter how many other people do them.

The following is a list of my favorite e-fed finishers of all-time, not including my own. These are in no particular order.

Spoilerbomb The Spoiler - This was the move that birthed MBE all those years ago and by proxy, pulled me into e-fedding (in that MBE inspired A1E and well, yeah). Brutal powerbomb finisher that really fits the man in red and black.

HIDADRIVER~! (oh the humanity) Hida Yakamo - To me, this was probably the most mythical of finishers just because it had its own catchphrase. It's a running Splash Mountain (ie, sitout Razor's Edge). It seems like the kind of move that you'd see pulled out at the Tokyo Dome in minute 45 of a GHC Championship match.

The Judas Cradle Beast - I love a good submission hold, and this was really the first one that I latched onto. It's a weird, funky hold, sort of a cross between a backwards-applied figure four and an Indian deathlock.

Point of Impact Euclid - I really never got into the brainbuster as a match finisher until recently, like two or three years ago, but I always dug this variation on it. It's a brainbuster, but on the way down, E would drop his elbow across the victim's throat. Devastating all around.

Hell on Earth Liquid Snake - Another common move with a slight variation. This was a Pedigree, only at the end, Snake would turn his body slightly, jamming his knee on the back of the victim's head. I have no idea how this move could be performed safely, but it would look brutal as hell, something that the late Misawa would probably use if it were used in real life.

North of Sanity Craig Miles - I've always been a mark for Randy Savage's top rope elbow drop. People discount the elbow drop, but really, if you got an elbow, even from a stationary opponent dropping down on you on the canvas, your chest would be CAVED. The contrived part about the People's Elbow was the five minutes of set-up, not the payoff. Okay, end tangent. I think if anyone could deliver this move with as much pomp and urgency that Savage did, I'd picture it would be Miles, who in character (and some might say out of character) is legit insane.

Memphis Death Certificate Jeff Garvin - There was a time in the 90s when the piledriver became garden variety in real wrestling. Then Steve Austin got paralyzed and you never saw it again except from Jerry Lawler. Maybe that was the best thing that could have happened to its mystique stateside, because really, a piledriver should be death. It should be treated like it is in Mexico... borderline illegal. That being said, this move is on here more because of the name than because of my admiration for the move. It really gets across the seriousness of the move.

Uraken~! the School Girl - tSC was always known as "the workrate fed" of all the angle feds back in the day. Now, if you're, say, ROH and you're labeled that, it's a good thing. If you're an e-fed and you're labeled it, well... let's just say tSC in its day had match writeups that made Charles Dickens look terse. Still, the profile pages were a sight to behold, a veritable workrate mark's dream. Of these, the oddest was the School Girl, a dinky little Asian chick on a roster of big male wrestlers. However, what made her believable was her finisher, the Uraken. I'm a mark for this move in real life. It will fuck your day up something else. Looking back, this was the only finisher that really could have been credible on tSG. She couldn't believably slam, suplex or power even the lightest men, but her fleet-footedness would have put a wallop behind that spinning backfist.

NyQuil Driver D! - This was the move I used as D!'s de facto finisher throughout the initial Tournament of Champions. It really is a sick move if you think about it, and all it is is a tweak on an existing move. It's basically Edge's Edge-o-Matic only done out of a sleeper hold. Brutal, brutal stuff.

C-4 Karina Wolfenden - Imagine a vertebreaker. Okay, now imagine it being done out of a springboard backflip. This is the epitome of a "death move".

Humility Bomb Dan Ryan - I almost didn't put this on here just because I already led off with the Spoilerbomb, but in all actuality, they're different moves and are attached to different mythos. While the Spoilerbomb is correlated to the Last Ride, this bomb, to my understanding, is more like a sheer drop powerbomb on the head and neck. This move runs neck and neck with the following one as the most over finisher in the FW circuit's history.

Slackknife Troy Windham - A sharp contrast to the Humility Bomb in that it's a lightning quick strike that capitalizes on stunning an opponent for a quick win rather than a move bent on destruction of a body part after a long war of attrition, just in the same vein as Windham is a cocky character whose speciality is getting out one liners and crowing heartily about his accomplishments while Ryan will break you down cerebrally. Wow, that was an epic run-on sentence for two epic moves :p Anyway, the Slackknife is basically an inverted stunner, like a Rude Awakening, but only done a lot quicker and in the stunner style.

Mjollnir Blow Olvir Arsvinnar - I've always pictured Olvir as the sort of wrestler the smarks would loathe if he were real. Lumbering, slow but powerful and possibly stiff. He'd the Nordic Goldberg of FW, insanely over due to his animal charisma. He may not work well, but his signature moves look good because that's all he'd really concentrate on perfecting. The Mjollnir Blow is a Polish Hammer to the chest with a roar for effect done after. While it's not listed as one of his finishers, no one can deny that a huge Viking clubbing both his hands balled together in a MEGA FIST on your chest at terminal velocity would look real enough to make everyone believe that chest is now caved and the match could be finished. I'd love to see Strawsma make this Olvir's finisher, especially when done out of the Irish Whip.

Smile For Me Tony Gamble - Talk about a move that fits the character. Gamble's face is disfigured on one side to make it look like he's smiling all the time. You could say he's got half-a-Joker going on. This move is a play on that, a Texas Cloverleaf with a fishhook applied to one side of the face. It fits so well with the character's mafioso paranoia.

Bulimia Nervosa Bomb Dos Equis - Flying double stomp to the stomach... BRILLIANT! Why more people, both in real life and e-feds, don't try to use this as a finisher is beyond me, but I guess I'm glad it's so underused. It makes this application more special.

Following Up The Last Post

Remember the last post I did? The one right below this one? Yeah, I'd like to apologize for the tone I used. I realize that I was no better than Shane with the confrontational tone. I don't apologize for the content or for the sentiment. I just wish I could have said it a little more eloquently.

Wah, wah, I got sand in my e-box

One of the things about retiring from active e-fedding is that I really don't have any accountability to anyone anymore, so I don't have to watch what I say... well, that's a lie. I don't want to alienate people, but really I don't have to work with them either. That's why you shouldn't unbookmark this thing. In addition to Project Discovery Channel, I'll still have some goodies up here, mainly me reminiscing, ranting, raving or doing the fantasy-fantasy booker thing. Even if RPing isn't fun anymore, talking about it sure is!

And boy, do I love talking about things. Why else would I have started this if I didn't? Sure, I had the news and show-opinion hookup, but I really started this just to ruminate on abstract concepts and trends (or as Katz once said, comparing the pros and cons of kumquats). I wanted to talk about things that I liked and things that I didn't like. Today, I'm gonna talk about something that probably pisses me off the most of anything that can piss someone off in e-wrestling - publicly carrying on about results.

I had to deal with this in a BIG way back in 2007 with the WfWA's petty bitchiness about how their guys finished in the TEAM ToC. Honestly, if you were around for that, and most of the readership here was, you knew how big a clusterfuck it was. If not, well, basically it boiled down to that entire community pretty much bitching me and my judges out because their guys didn't finish 1-2-3 in the ToC. They blasted guys like Nova, Tchu and Ravager midcarders. The only person who was gracious about the whole thing was Christian Light's handler, and that was because he placed 4th. I was accused of playing favorites, only inviting them to make "my circle" look good (which was ludicrous because at heart, my "circle" is A1E, and the final didn't even have a FW-related handler in it), demanding privately that I give "valid reasoning" for why I ranked them so low, and then arguing with it when I gave it. It was a nightmare.

It would be nice if the people "buying into their own shit" was limited to communities that didn't have prior working relationships. The more things change, the more things stay the same. Honestly, I would have expected better, especially since the miserable in this situation was from the PTC circuit, but then again, the last time there was an all-out e-fed meltdown, it happened from someone who came from the FW/A1 side of things. It goes to show that there are assholes on both sides of the coin, right?

But just in case you've been living under a rock, which I admittedly have been doing for a couple of weeks, someone else, the handler of Chris Bagwell, just went off about losing in his TEAM Invitational Tournament match. It was in response to a light-hearted blog post by Billy Ferrero. It degenerated into basically the guy named Shane (why do all the people who blow up go by that name?) and all the FW heavyweights, Russo, Brunk, even Shinder himself. I responded too. It wasn't nice, and I'm not going to be nice here.

Basically, the worst thing you can do is bitch about your match publicly. For one, you're a bad sport if you do it. Why you'd want to be immature and ruin something that's supposed to be fun by throwing insults and accusations around is beyond me. Two, you put the booker on eggshells. You make them think that they're not being fair, and then it skews the results in the future. More future results are in doubt now because the booker is possibly influenced by your bitching. Three, it causes massive public dischord and people are then repulsed. Why should someone go to a place where people aren't happy with results?

Basically, what this Bagwell guy did was damage the integrity of TEAM. Even though I've retired and handed the keys over to Shinder, it still pisses me off that someone would have the gall to submarine the integrity of a place I helped build, especially over something as trivial as a tournament match. Here's a fucking newsflash. This is a competition. People win, people lose. This isn't a circle jerk. It's also subjective. One man's offal is another man's feast. If you lose, oh well. Put your big boy or big girl pants on and deal with it.

Am I saying you should be happy with losing? No, that would be hypocritical of me. I don't like losing, and there are times when I take it pretty hard. There were several times that I looked at a match result and I thought that there was no way I should have lost. It happened most of the time when I was up against Housefly in A1E battling for the A1E Championship or against Trip X in EPW. Did I complain about those losses in public in a way that was accusatory to the people deciding the matches? No, I didn't. I vented to friends, I inhaled and exhaled. I got over it, and I realized that the A1E voters and Brunk had their reasons for their decisions. And in the end, I was cool with it, because let's face it, it's not like Housefly or Stevens are slouchy characters, nor are their handlers bozos. They're two iconic characters handled by two talented men.

Why this prick can't realize the same for his match is beyond me. Why he couldn't have just vented to his friends who would have sympathized with him, I don't know. Why he couldn't have just left it to the PMs he sent back and forth with Shinder, I have no clue. But he had to go and take his beef public. What does that accomplish? Who does he get to rally to his side? The FW people who've been there before with the WfWA fiasco? The people there who've been in internal FW OOC dramas? People who actually thought that Duke Williams beat him, Duke Williams, who is handled by Al Larcher... hardly the picture of a FW stronghold? Please.

He says he's putting TEAM on ban. Yeah, okay, that's really going to hurt the fed. Seriously, TEAM doesn't need him, and really, if he's going to react to losing that badly, he doesn't need TEAM, because his blood pressure would rise every time he lost a match in TEAM. This game needs a lot fewer self-important douchebags like him and more people like Ryan Aston. Here's another guy who was unhappy with his loss in the first round of the same tournament, but outside of an offhand reply to the blog post in question, he took it in stride. That's the sign of a guy who gets it.

In the end, this isn't serious business. It's a fucking game. If you can't have fun playing a game, then you need to get your head checked. If you can't take losing to the point where you think it's a vast right-wing conspiracy if you don't win, you should hang up the e-boots and take up needlepoint, because this isn't for you.

In closing, Katz, I don't think you ever thought kumquats could get this vitriolic, could you? ;)

RRoaEFL Presents: Exit Interview - A Sit Down with the Anglo Luchador

Hello and welcome to a very special edition of the Michael Morenstein Files. As many of you know from dirtsheet reports around the 'Net, Jericoholic Anonymous has been removed from all future bookings for both A1E and EPW following their most recent pay-per-view events. Rumors were swirling that the Anglo Luchador was retiring, but there has been no official word yet...

...until now.

I recently sat down with the former A1E and EPW World Champion and got answers to some burning questions, as well as some other things that the wrestling world has been dying to know about one Jericoholic Hulkamaniac Anonymous.

---

MM: Hello, and welcome.

JA: Hello to you, and thanks for having me, Mike.

MM: Pleasure's mine. First thing's first, and this is a question that's been on the minds of everyone since your last appearance at WrestleVerse III, are you retired?

JA: nervous laughter You don't pull punches, do you, Mike?

MM: Heh, well, you could say that. But there have been a number of rumors on the Web, and no one, not even Dave Meltzer or the folks over at FW Dirtsheet have been able to get a straight answer.

JA: Well, Mike, I can't say I've talked to anyone except for Nate [Nathan Houston] and Lindz [Lindsay Troy] about this.

MM: And what did you tell them?

JA: Well, that I was taking some time off and that I wouldn't be signing any new contracts. I was coming to the end of my original EPW deal that I signed way back in 2004 anyway, a plum deal for them since my downside guarantee wasn't all that high and I didn't ask for many incentives.

MM: Of course, because of your accumulated wealth outside of the business.

JA: Yep. Basically, after I came back from my last hiatus, I was a self-made millionaire and I didn't actually need wrestling for the money so much as I needed it for myself, if that makes sense. So, Troy and [Dan] Ryan both were trying to get extensions put together for me for the last few months. I was receptive, but in the back of my mind, I figured it would have been time for another extended period off.

MM: So you've been planning this for awhile?

JA: Well, yes and no. Yes in that my body hasn't been in peak condition since before I suffered that back injury in A1E in 2002, back before I was programmed against Big Dog for the World Championship. The aches and pains pile up, even after having rested for the time that I rested. While EPW's television schedule isn't exactly rigorous, their house show schedule, combined with A1E's much more regular TV schedule plus their house shows can make things add up. Still, I was ready to continue until I suffered The Big One.

MM: The Big One?

JA: Yeah. I tried not to let on to anyone except Tamara [Lollipop] and the training staffs from both companies, but I pulled a muscle in my back against Trip [Sean Stevens] at Aggression 43.

MM: That doesn't sound all that bad.

JA: No, but I kept working on it, and again, the house shows, plus the TV matches against Wraith and the PPV matches against Trip and [Rocko] Daymon and against Ken Cloverleaf. It got aggravated somehow, and I kept putting off getting it scoped further. I was subsiding on codeine and cortisone shots for the last two months, Mike. Then, as it turns out, after WrestleVerse, I got it scoped and it turns out I tore a muscle back there.

MM: Ouch!

JA: You can say that again. I had surgery on it last week, actually, and things are healing, albeit slowly. Before I went into surgery, I had told both Houston and Troy about what my plans were, and they were both agreeable to let me announce them on my own terms.

MM: You explained the terms of your EPW contract. What about A1E? It was reported that you signed a three-year extension last year.

JA: Well, me and Nate sat down and we came to an agreement that would let me out of my contract without any financial obligations on their end and without any penalty on my end. They were more than gracious.

MM: A 180 from the last time you left, eh?

JA: Heh, I guess you could say that, Mike. If I had to leave, I'm glad I'm not doing it crossing the bridge with a gascan in one hand and a flamethrower in the other. Seriously though, one of the biggest regrets that I had after leaving the first time was that I had left the only wrestling home that I had known for the three to four years prior on such bad terms. Now I feel like when I do heal and if I get the urge to wrestle again, I can go back to the locker room and not have to prove myself all over again.

MM: You said "if" you get the urge. Are you saying that injuries may not be the only factor on this?

JA: Well, not really. I mean, it's not entirely impossible for someone to love what they do and still get sick of it. Am I sick of wrestling? No, not in the least. Am I a bit tired of waking up in pain, living out of a rental car and not being able to settle down with my wife? Yeah, a little bit. Plus, there are a lot of other ways to be involved in wrestling without having to live the lifestyle.

MM: Thinking about stealing my gig?

JA: laughs Yeah, I could do that. Or I could announce, book, train... there are a ton of things to do. I was born to be in this business. If I come back in a year or so, and I think I'm ready to go again, I'll go. If not, then I'll find something else. I'll survive.

MM: So going back to the original question, I'd say that it's a "no"?

JA: Yeah, I'll be in this industry in some capacity. Now whether it's as an active competitor, we'll see.

MM: Until then, what are you planning on doing?

JA: Well, I'm gonna take some time off. Enjoy the finer things in life. I'll probably take in some games at Citizen's Bank Park, sleep in a bit, visit James [Irish] and Paul [Bennett - Big Dog] at the retirement home. laughs Who knows, maybe I'll try and start a family with Tam too.

MM: Hoping to get a fourth generation of Anonymous in wrestling, I take it?

JA: Haha, yeah, well, I'm not making any promises. I have taken more than a few nutshots in my day, and no matter how much you try to protect yourself down there, well, there's only a certain amount of trauma you can prevent. It's not the most "workable" move if you know what I mean.

MM: I think I do. I think I do. If or when you do come back, what do you think you have left to accomplish? You have won every singles Championship there is to win in A1E and EPW save the Challenge Championship in the former and Television in the latter. You've won a Pier Six and a Best of A1E. You've scored gold in the CSWA, and not many people can say that at all.

JA: Well, I would like to have more than one successful World Championship defense, Mike. I mean, not to knock Andy Gilkison, but I think he was the only guy I beat while I was World Champion. Winning the World Championship isn't enough, I'd like to be able to defend it a bit more.

I also don't think that winning something once really is accomplishing anything. I see guys quitting feds, retiring because they've done all they can do in their words. That's bullshit, Mike. Pure and utter bullshit. I mean take a look at Paul. He did what he did in his first run way back in 2002. He was dominant. But when he lost the World Championship, he didn't turn tail and run because he did it all. No, he kept going. When he did take breaks, it was because the aches and pains were getting to him. But he came back and years later, he won the World Championship again. He kept up excellence. You see Mike, it's one thing just to get to the top, but to stay there. Paul stayed there. Marcus [Westcott] stayed there in two companies. [Dan] Ryan did it in a million companies. They got over, they stayed over. They performed to a high level and when it came time to sustain it, to go out there and give a main event performance, to look good and put in an effort when putting the next guy over. So don't tell me there's nothing left to do. There's always something left to do, unless you're Ric Flair or Hornet or Joey Melton.

MM: Wow, tell me how you really feel.

JA: Oh man, you don't want me to get off on a real tangent. I mean one time, I chewed Wreck's ears off talking about taxes, and all he did was ask me who Ron Paul was.

MM: Wow, you're a Ron Paul supporter?

JA: Yeah, something about small government, lower taxes and having our boys at home safely instead of in Iraq appeals to me, but that's for a political blog, not a wrestling one.

MM: Alright, then, let's go back. Is there anything else you'd want to do if you came back full-time as a wrestler?

JA: Yeah, there's quite a bit. I think tops on the list would be to sort of finish off the longstanding feud with Marcus. There's a big story there that is okay right now if nothing else were to happen but would be fantastic if we had just one more six-to-twelve month run to work it.

MM: I'd assume then that the legit heat between you two has dissipated?

JA: Oh yeah, that went out the window a long time ago, Mike. I learned that grudges are never good to have, especially in this business, where there's only a limited amount of guys that you can work with, especially at the top. And me and Beast both are inalienable parts of both the A1E and EPW pantheons, so it's not like we'd be able to avoid each other unless I just up and started anew in another fed. But between you, me and all your readers, that wouldn't have a great chance of happening.

MM: So new territories would be out of the question if and when you came back?

JA: No, but if I went somewhere new, like NFW or somewhere in the PTC circuit, it would be in addition to A1E and/or EPW.

MM: A couple of months ago, you got married to your valet and longtime girlfriend Tamara "Lollipop" Boyd. Can you tell us about the ceremony?

JA: Well, the ceremony was at Mother of Divine Grace church in the Port Richmond section of Philly. A lot of people from the business there. Actually Lindz was in Tam's bridal party, and James was my best man. It caused some friction among my brothers, but they understood. And we honeymooned in Grand Cayman, which was sweet. All the Cuban cigars I could smoke, and just beautiful weather all around.

MM: How did you guys last this long when many wrestling relationships end badly?

JA: It's simple. We're really normal people. Neither one of us does hardcore drugs. We drink, but ask anyone, we're really mellow drunks. I don't beat her, she doesn't fuck behind my back. We have normal conversations, get into normal arguments - well as normal as you can get without having to live in a house for more than a week at a time. I've never done a steroid in my life, and she isn't into plastic surgery. We love each other for who we are, and yeah, they say you don't shit where you eat, but really, this isn't the kind of job where being together all the time is grating. Most of the time that I'm on the job, my focus is on the guy on the other side of the ring. She just has the best seat in the house.

MM: Okay, one last question. Say this is it and you don't ever wrestle a match ever again. Do you have any regrets?

JA: pause No Mike, I can't say I do. I had a good two-decade run from soup to nuts so far, with half of it being in the bigs. I've wrestled the best wrestlers in the world, performed in front of some of the greatest fans and I've turned in performances that I'm mostly satisfied with. Do I have a million World Championships? No, but I was respected enough by the companies that I worked for for them to toss me the ball and say, "Hey Tom, run with it", whether it was in the main event, the big tournament or even if it was just in a midcard match that they needed to fill out a card and make people remember the event. While in my heart I want to believe that this injury won't sap my spirit and that I will be back in a wrestling ring as a wrestler and not just a trainer, if I don't come back, well, que sera sera. I had a great run, and I'm out with a good portion of my life to enjoy in financial security.

MM: Alright, well, thank you very much, it was a pleasure.

JA: No prob, and thank you.

This is it

With a heavy heart but a clear mind, I am announcing my retirement from active competition in the game of e-wrestling/e-fedding/fantasy wrestling.

I'm sorry to all the heads of feds that I'm in now for quitting now, but writing has become more of a chore than a release. I also have not been consistently writing RPs that I've been completely happy with for a long time now. It's too much of a struggle for me to continue creatively, and even moreso a chore for me to read through a card. The latter is unfair to everyone else in the fed whom I am up against and to those who've written those matches and segments.

I do leave with a lot of good memories and a lot of lessons that have and will continue to help me in life. I've also met a lot of good friends through this game that I am grateful for having come into my life. I would like to say that I'm not shutting myself off from any of the eW hubs, FW or PTC, that I go to, so I'll still be around. I've always found it asinine that people who leave the game also leave the community. We're all friends for the most part and we all like each other (or at least tolerate each other).

But I would be remiss if I didn't thank the many people with whom I've been involved in the almost decade I've been playing this game.

Thank you to:

- Roger Albrecht, Jarret Aubry,(A1E) Dan West, Bob Rodriguez and Bill Dempsey (MBE), who welcomed me into their respective feds as a super-green rookie and tolerated my bitchiness in my early days

- The guy who handled the Canadian Hitman (don't remember his name) for actually recruiting me into A1E and getting me started

- Ryan Poole (Liquid Snake), who was my first real friend and e-fed confidant

- Dave Brunk for taking a chance on the JA character and letting me find my spark again in EPW

- Chad Merritt for allowing me his site to work creatively with TEAM

- For everyone who ever participated in a UXW or TEAM card, especially Brian Jenkins, the first and only UXW Champion, and Adam Shinder, who took the reins of TEAM from me when I couldn't handle it anymore

- And finally, to all the people I've faced, befriended or even disagreed with over the years, especially Jon Katz, Phil Banet, Lindz, Pierre Hyde, Fergus Looney, Sean Edmunds, Mikey Nunes, Nicholas Kamuda, Chris Davis, Diego Ibarra, Kevin Healey and Ross Fynmore. If I didn't mention you by name, please don't feel slighted. It's probably on account of my bad memory :p

However, despite retiring from active handling, the blog will not be going anywhere. While I won't be doing the regular news/show reviews etc., I am going to make an attempt to continue Project Discovery Channel and keep the interviews alive. However, it'll only be handler interviews. I feel like I'm not well-equipped to do anything in-character anymore.

So, there it is. Of course, as with real wrestling, e-wrestling retirements are never really all that permanent. Will I ever be back? Maybe, maybe not. However, for now, it's goodbye and thank you. My life would never have been the same without this game and all the wonderful people in it.

Quick Hits

Well, I have a new installment for Project Discovery Channel halfway finished. Let's just say it's the first in the Michael Morenstein series, so expect it to be... different. However, I need to get back on AIM and finish it up, which could prove tricky. The long abscence has been pretty bad on my part. Apologies, but this blog ain't going anywhere. Now, onto the quick hits...

- I heard from a little birdie that NEW is about to awaken from its long slumber and post the long-awaited Banned in the US PPV. Edmunds, having finished law school, will have a little more time to devote to fed-heading, and hopefully, this signifies a full-time comeback for NEW. It fills a niche that's been lacking on FW since its hiatus began

- I also heard from that same birdie that another long-dormant FW league is going to be making a comeback, and that NEW is going to merge with that league. My source told me to keep things hush-hush as for the identity of the other fed, but it's one that shares a lot of heritage with NEW.

- First round results for the East and West brackets in the TEAM Invitational Tournament were posted, and everything proceeded to seed. Shame that there were no upsets, but I have a feeling we'll get one in the next set of first round matches. Just in case you're wondering, I'm not feeling too good about my chances to advance, but that's okay. If I advance, I advance. If I don't, well, it's not the end of the world.

- One more thing, please check out Billy Ferraro's new blog, the FW Money Shot. It may seem a bit tl;dr on the surface, but trust me, it's got some good content. It's always good to have another member of the blogring.

Your Blogger Answers, pt. 420

First off, Project Discovery Channel is not dead. I just haven't really had the chance to hop onto IM and get an interview with people in the queue. I will hopefully get two or three up this week, time permitting.

And now, to some more questions, these ones coming from the Chairman of NFW, Jon Katz, who mainly wants to know about my past with TEAM:

-What have been your favorite in-ring moments for TEAM?

There have been a few. The tops would probably be D! coming from virtual FW-obscurity to win the first Tournament of Champions. While the NAPW crowd knew he was up for the task, I think most of us thought that there wasn't a fed outside the FW, PTC or angle fed circles that could produce someone who could write quality. How wrong we were, and it was really satisfying to me to be able to bring a fed from outside the circle in and see them succeed at such a level that they were able to earn respect almost instantly.

Some other moments I'd think of were Joe Average upsetting Ken Cloverleaf in the first TiT, Mike Randalls shaking off the ring rust and winning the most recently completed TiT, Team NEW and Team MBE facing off in the first Dupree Cup finals, and most recently, Fusenshoff taking the CoC and solidifying himself as a main eventer in the FW arena.

-What's the most impressive run or dominant performance you've seen in TEAM?

Ravager's Challenge Championship run. Every time you think he's due to get beaten for that title, he comes back with something that drops your jaw. He really does shine in the situational writing field, and that's pretty cool.

-If you had the time/motivation to write full matches and the RP participation backed up by the handlers, what would be your dream supercard for TEAM SUPERSHOW 20?

Main Event Four Way for the Championship of Champions
Ravager (c) vs. D! vs. Nova vs. Fusenshoff

Basically it's a match between three of the most prominent holders of the CoC against a guy whom I think will win it sooner or later. Good main event to have at the top of the card.

Ego Buster's Farewell
Dan Ryan vs. Lindsay Troy

This match has been talked about for awhile. I'd love to see Ryan get a bit more mileage out of his character in the CSWA and NAPW before he retires, but it should be against the star who really got her main event push jump started in his fed.

Troy Windham vs. Michael Manson

I don't know if this match ever happened, but it should. Two of the major heavyweights in FW history.

Challenge Championship Match with some kind of fucked up stipulations
Felix Red (c) vs. Shawn Hart

I figure the RP for this match would blow everyone's minds, so why not?

Olvir Arsvinnar and Cowboy Jimmy Donovan vs. Beau Michaels and Big Gay Bruce

Token comedy match between two oversexed heteros and two oversexed homos, with three of FW's best RPers and me :)

Lethal Lottery Championships
Kin Hiroshi and Tyler Rayne (c) vs. Marcus Westcott and Garbage Bag Johnny

No real rhyme or reason for either pairing except that I'm a fan of all four guys involved and think this would be a cool match.

FREE FOR ALL~! Championship Match
Participants: Jason Payne, Harley Douglas, Larry Tact, James Varga, Phil Atken, Menace, Big Dog, Tchu, Mr. Amazing!, Jonathan Rhine, Professor Tremendous, The Sergeant, Frankie Scott, James Irish, Rex Caliber, Donovan Astros, Suicide, Boogie Smallz, Bryan Storms, Mike Randalls, HAL, Jonathan Marx, Problem Child, "Sudden Impact" Randall Knox, Jared Wells, High Flyer, Cameron Cruise, Sean Stevens, Dr. Tittylover, Yori Yakamo, Jr., The Illustrious Face-Eater, Stylin' Kyle Roberts, The Wraith, Steven Shane, Ken Cloverleaf, Hans Nowak, Mittens T. Cat, Devin Shakur, Dusk and Rook Black

40 wrestlers for the biggest FFA~! BR yet. I really loved the FFA~! concept more than most, and I'm really bummed that most of the matches really don't get a good turnout.

-What TEAM matches really stand out for you in terms of your voters going against the grain of what you would have booked?

Usually, it's in the ToC more than individual matches. Nothing really stands out to me in TiT or Dupree Cup matches that was a case of both other judges in the match outvoting me unless I was the last to vote and cast a protest vote just to make sure that the guy/team wasn't getting shut-out if I felt they put up a good effort.

And for one final question, The Rage asks:

How badly do you think Ravager is going to pummel me in the first round of the MidWest Bracket?

Usually, when I pick someone to win, they often times are jinxed and lose :p That being said, Ravager is always tough and he's tournament tested, but anyone can be beaten, and from what I've seen of the Rage, while not out-of-the-park impressive, I thought there was potential.

As always, thanks for the questions, and KEEP 'EM COMIN'!!!!

Your Blogger Answers, Pt. 5

Yet another set of questions. First we start out with Ryan Aston, who asks:

I'm probably becoming a broken record in this community on this issue, but I'm curious - Do you think we'll ever have a Hall of Fame on FW Central?

Eventually, yes. All it really needs is for someone to spearhead it. It won't be me, mainly because FWC's history predates me by a large margin, so I'll let someone else handle it.

I will say that if it comes to fruition though, that I hope it's a handler Hall of Fame and not a character-based one. I'd rather honor both the person and the character rather than just the character.

Has the CSWA 'gotten its groove back?'

It's very hard to say, because every time you want to count Chad and Co. out, Chad comes back and posts an excellent read. The problem, as it has been the last five years or so, has been Chad's work schedule. I'm not sure how that affects his thought process, but it certainly blocks him from being able to write out most of the material.

Even if the rest of the handlers wrote large portions of the other material, the Hacker storyline is such that Chad and the erstwhile and AWOL Steve are the only ones who really know the flow and all the intricacies of it. The only way I can really think that the CSWA really has its groove back for good is if Chad just takes all his free time and writes out the segments that compose the backbone of the Hacker storyline and let the rest of the roster flesh out their own tales. That wouldn't be fair to Chad though to make himself a slave to e-wrestling when he's not a slave to his job.

That leaves the CSWA in a very interesting position: so close to the finish line yet so far away. Hopefully Chad finds a way to make it all work with less time between cards, as he told me, in his own words, that if there were two years between this most recent card and the next one, that the CSWA would pretty much be closed for good.

I've got that FMLL itch again, but is lucha libre something that will ever work on these boards? Do people have an aversion to lucha and, if so, why?

Lucha will be a very difficult proposition because people misunderstand the tradition so much. Most think of lucha and WCW/WWE Rey Mysterio comes to mind. It's all flippy shit and none of the story. Meanwhile, lucha is much more layered and complex than that American perception. Hell, I don't even have the best idea as to how it works. You'd have to have a bunch of dedicated lucha fanatics get together and run two or three test cards before people even knew what it was all about.

Another thing that probably keeps people away is the language barrier, as it's hard to understand tradition when you don't speak Spanish.

To close out this one, Barry Clark, Jr. asked this question about the forum activity:

According to FW.com under the......

What's Going On?
Currently Active Users: (members and guests)
Most users ever online was 544, 05-06-06 at 09:08 PM.

Q: Do you think 544 online at the same time will ever be broken?

Not unless there's a mass invasion of search bots or slurp spiders.

Thanks for the questions, and as always, KEEP ASKING!

Your Blogger Answers, Pt. 4

Yet another batch of questions to answer! The first couple from Josh Ray, FW's resident soldier overseas:

Will Sergeant ever find the time to step back into the ring, and if so, who the hell would care? :)

Just two people, me and Franklin, since you two still haven't finished that feud you started :p

What about that Drunken Tiger fellow

No one cares about Drunken Tiger :p

Actually, to answer both questions seriously, I think that if you had time to run both characters, that means you'd be home, safe and sound, and everyone in the extended FW/Blog-following community would love that.

And now, onto the main event. Jarret Aubry, of A1E and EPW fame, submitted these questions:

1) What's left for Tom Holzerman to accomplish in eWrestling?

Well, I think there's still a lot to do. I've said before that I hate it when someone ends a first-run with a character after they've captured their first World Championship, saying "there isn't anything left to do with the character". Biggest cop-out I can think of. But anyway...

First thing's first, remember the cups of coffee I had with the A1E and EPW World Championships, respectively as JA? Well, I do like me some coffee, but that usually means that there's something of more substance to go with it. I would love to get another shot at holding both belts (possibly at the same time?) and going more than just one PPV title defense with them. JA is my flagship character. Although Maggot was always 1a at the very least, it was a character concept my cousin actually came up with that I had just fleshed out. JA really is me and everything that I've done with him, from the gimmick infringement to the far-reaching family tree to the moveset has been driven by my ideas. I want to see that go as far as it can go and I want people to remember me not just for the blog or for TEAM, but for the stuff I did in RP and as an active e-wrestler, especially with JA.

As a handler, I'd also like to reach the top of the mountain in a non-NFW PTC fed and in an angle fed. Both are territories where I've dabbled in to various degrees, and I was probably on my way to reaching big heights in PTC as a member of AWC. Sadly, the fed closed just as I was hitting my stride. Both those kinds of feds present different challenges than in a FW-styled RP fed.

Another thing I'd like to do is spearhead a renaissance in tag team wrestling. I've signed up in NFW as Vive Le Quebec, and when I'm not trying to challenge for the World Championship as JA, I'd like for him to become someone people mention as a quintessential tag wrestler.

I'd also like to win a major tournament, be it the TiT, a GTT or something else that comes up. And of course, as a handler, I'd like to perform excellently in any fed that I join.

Outside handling, I still feel like I have to prove myself on the blog every time I post, be it in opinion pieces like this, show reviews or even breaking news.

2) If you were running A1E or EPW, who would be your Champions (or given the voting nature of A1E, who would you want to push towards being your Champions)?

A1E
World - Troy Douglas

I think the belt's on the right person now. The main focus in A1E right now is the gang war between the AoC and HPSC, but I don't think the World Championship should always be a prop in the main angle. Right now, it's good to have an outsider to the feud have it and then let the World Championship have its own story.

Cyber - Big Wreck

I really think it's time for him to move up the card.

Challenge - Angel of Death

He's a guy whom I think can shine with the different stipulations from week to week.

Tag Team - Various AoC and HPSC members

Right now, A1E really doesn't have a strong tag division, so the belts would be best served being a cog in the stable wars. Make them a central focus in the feud and you push not only the feud but the belts too.

EPW

World - Sean Stevens

Surprisingly, EPW really doesn't have a lot of guys who are bonafide main eventers right now. There's me, but I'm not Godbooking myself the title here :p. There's Westcott, but he's tied up in an angle with Miles, or at least he was. Stevens right now is the biggest main event name that EPW has, and I think if he were to drop it, it should be to the next big name, like say a Jared Wells or a The First or even a Fusenshoff.

Intercontinental - Fusenshoff

He just won the CoC in TEAM for crying out loud. The TV title's a nice belt to have, but I think he's gotta move up the card. The IC title is a good thing to have for an on-the-cusp star, and he could elevate the title in the process.

TV - Omega

Great new character from a seasoned angle fed character getting his feet wet in the FW world. I'm a big fan of Omega, and I think he should have some gold.

Tag - Larry Tact and Cameron Cruise

Again, the tag scene in EPW isn't that strong, but that's why Brunk put the call out. Tact and Cruise would be good anchors for the tag division while it enters a sort of rebirth/rebuilding.

3) What would your A1E and EPW dream matches/feuds be given the current rosters?

a) not involving your characters
b) involving your characters

A1E
a) Troy Windham vs. Marcus Westcott - It hasn't happened before, and it would pit two of the most legendary characters from the CSWA and A1E respectively.
b) Jericoholic Anonymous vs. Marcus Westcott - This feud needs a proper reflaring and blowing off

EPW
a) Shawn Hart vs. Felix Red - That would be the most surreal feud ever
b) Jericoholic Anonymous vs. Olvir Arsvinnar - I think I would have so much fun with this I would never want it to end!

4) Who's got the best theme music in relation to their character?

Nothing is ever going to beat Big Dog, "Bad to the Bone"

5) Predict the next move in the HPSC/AOC feud

Hmm, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Troy Windham isn't really a member of the HPSC and is probably going to reveal that he's either in business for himself or was aligned with Westcott and the AoC all along.

Again, KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING! And thanks to everyone who's asked so far!

Your Blogger Answers, Pt. 3

This batch from people who don't know how to follow directions and posted it in the thread at FW instead of in reply here :p

First up is Scott Franklin, the hard-luck but solid mainstay of such feds as EPW and LVW:

1- What do you think/feel a tag team should do to get noticed in FW today?

Well, the first thing they/he/she have to do is be good. RP well, write good segments, get into decent stories. Second thing is cohesion. Anyone can just get into a tag match and RP separately, but it takes a certain amount of teamwork to really get yourself noticed. Take for example the Cameron Cruise Project. It wasn't successful because both members did well in RP; they were both committed to the concept of team and worked together in nearly every aspect of the game. That's why they could very well be the best e-fed tag team of all-time, and if not at the top, in the top five at least.

2- Which would be better... a new gimmicked team or two veterans getting together for a run at something new?

Both can do well, but quicker success is usually attained with two veterans getting together, just because both of the characters are already established. While a newish team would have to both establish chemistry and character, the veteran team would only have to get the chemistry going if the characters are already mainstays.

3- Any ideas for guys out there looking for a good team gimmick to use?

There are almost as many team concepts to use as there molecules of nitrogen in the atmosphere. That is to say the possibilities are almost infinite. To tell you the truth, I'd love to see a sort of Communist revival stable featuring a lead man and a backing tag team. Those are the kinds of gimmicks that I think work so well in wrestling, obvious send-ups of foreign boogeymen. While the Arab villain might still be somewhat sensitive, the Russian (and Chinese or Cuban) heel still has enough material to draw from to work, and people still do try it. Hell, even in the WWE, Vladimir Kozlov was over as a Russian monster heel.

4- What teams of two veterans would you like to see team up?

Spoiler, Dan Ryan and Kodiak Vic Creed in a triad

No, seriously, right now I'd probably go for Ravager and Fusenshoff. They'd have a good in-ring chemistry of contrasting styles, while out of the ring, a stern, no-nonsense Ravager would provide a good foil for the reckless, alcoholic Fuse.

5- Frankie Scott was wondering, once he can settle his life down and is able to make a major push toward a title run in the tag ranks... Who would be an ideal partner for him to make a title run?

If we can put out an APB on Shane Carnes, find him and drag him back to e-fedding, a Steven Shane/Frankie Scott tag team called "Phenomenally Sensational" would be pretty cool.

Next up, it's James Varga:

1. Who do you think will be the next big star or stars in NFW?

Well, if Randall Knox isn't considered a big star yet, I'll go with him. If he is, then Brand New Day has a good chance to shake up the tag division and put Jamar and Gregg on notice. Also, this new guy signing up called Unicorn Mask sounds like he could be interesting. I've got my eye on him.

2. What do you think of the sudden influx of tag teams in NFW?

I think it's great, because tag team wrestling can be a very, very fun part of the game, especially for those looking to respark their interest after they've "achieved it all" in the singles ranks. For NFW to be the tag team hub of FWC is a good thing, and if EPW gets its tag division kick started, maybe an interpromotional tag team tournament involving those two, A1E, the PTC feds and whomever else wants in could be in order?

3. Who are the hottest stars now on FW?

Joe the Plumber comes to mind first, seeing as he's at the top of the heap in NFW and doesn't look to be going anywhere. Sean Stevens as well, since he's the EPW Champion and just won the #1 contendership to the CSWA UNIFIED Championship. Jared Wells seems to be the featured star in Anthology, and finally, I like Randall Knox after capturing the TV title and taking off the Impulse mask in NFW.

4. Any match predictions for round one of the TiT?

Can't really say until I see who shows up and who doesn't. However, I'll give you predictions as to the matches I think will steal the show should both guys RP:

Big Wreck vs. Mittens T. Cat - This one should be comedic gold given both the characters involved. I'm interested to see how Wreck reacts to Mittens the most.

Duke Williams vs. Chris Bagwell - Two of the best shit-talkers from PTC squaring off.

Impulse vs. DC Stark - It'll be interesting to see this matchup, the reserved RK against the bombastic Stark. Should be a good contrast in styles.

Shawn Hart vs. Horace Tully - Again, I'm interested to see how Tully handles the FW arena, and his first test isn't an easy one. Hart has gotten a 1 seed in this tournament before, and he could go a long way before he's knocked out.

Again, thanks for the questions so far, but please, KEEP 'EM COMING!