Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Dream Roster, Mk. II

It's a snow day here, so that means not a whole lot of work getting done at the office and more time for blogging. Since I'm a huge believer in symmetry, I thought that I'd do something now that the blog is back that I did when I first started the blog... craft a fantasy roster. Some of the names will be different. Some will remain the same. That all goes with the territory of both expanding my view of the eW world at the same time as retaining a lot of my old, sentimental favorites. This roster was made out of a mix of characters I really liked and handlers I feel I'd want on any fed's roster that I was running. So, here goes:

The Main Event


"The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan - Could he be the best character in the history of FWC? Maybe, maybe not, but no one can deny the impact he's had on that family of feds as well as his reach-outs to other feds like A1E, NAPW and MBE. Add in Brunk's gift of being able to cut some of the best heel promos ever for him, and any fed would want him to the first pick to be on the roster.

Troy Windham - Windham is FW's Ric Flair, Superstar Billy Graham and heel Rock all rolled up into one. One of the more ostentatious characters in eW history, Windham has a history with nearly everyone important in the FW circle. Those he doesn't? Well, they're probably new or foreign to the circuit and would provide good new ground for the Epitome to cover. Plus, Gethard in any fed is a plus.

Beast/Marcus Westcott - Beast/MW was on this list before as a face, but he's been playing the heel for so long, and effectively at that, that he needs to be here in the heel section. Plus, you get a three-for-one here with Beast. One, you get an effective top-of-the-card heel. Two, with Jarrett, you get an experienced staffer with big-time matchwriting experience, and three, you get an able webmaster. Great success!

Prisoner #187 - Of all the Dan West characters, I chose #187 mainly because of the untapped potential. The second run Dan had with him (the one beginning with the Slambo swerve and ending some time before the first official Golden Dreams) was among the most dominant runs I have ever seen in e-fedding. How he wasn't able to parlay that into multiple World Championships I'll never know. Maybe the rise of Chip Friendly, whom I think we can all agree is a first ballot A1E Hall of Famer now, was a big part of that, but I'll take the first DW A1E character and see what he'd be able to do given a prolonged run at the top.


Big Dog - The quintessential face. There was no other character in eW that I felt would be as wrong to turn heel as Big Dog was. So when Phil decided he was going to turn Dog heel during the Euclid feud, I was skeptical. I don't know if I ever told him that, nor did I think I told him that I was glad that Dog never took off heel and remained a face for the bulk of his career, but the point stands now. Dog would be a perfect foil for any of the above main event heels, and actually, there's bountiful amounts of evidence to support that as he was in main event programs with three out of four of them above to great acclaim.

"The Queen of the Ring" Lindsay Troy - Back when I did the first one, Lindz had not yet reached the apexes she has since. I said that she was ready to break through, and I dedicated more than a few blog posts about how women characters shouldn't be held back because of their gender if the writing was there. Lindz has proven that point more than anyone could properly explain. Her ascension to the premiere handler and character in either community was one of the most surprising yet deserved runs in history. I have her face instead of heel here because I feel like her character has become someone you cheer no matter what her actions. An almost unheelable character.

"The Final Fantasy" Seymour Almasy - Because this character's been everywhere, so why not here? :p In all seriousness, I was stricken by how well Sean played the underdog face role in the epic build to his World Championship win in ACW. 187/Almasy would be a ridiculously good feud, potentially better than the 187/Housefly feud back in the day in A1E.

Nova - What Lindz did bridging from the FWC over to PTC and angle fed communities, Nova did to a smaller extent in reverse. Mostly concentrating his exploits in TEAM, NFW and CSWA. Obviously, I'll take the shaggy, pot-smoking face variant over EEEEVIL FUCK YOU~! Nova for this endeavor, as he's far more entertaining as a face, and would work well with some of the above guys, especially ones he has history with like Ryan and maybe Troy Diddy.

The Upper Mid-card


Shawn Jessica Bubbles Hart, PhD - Most feds would kill to have SJH at the top of their card. Why do I have him here? It's no disrespect, really, but I think he's got the versatility to work nearly anywhere on the card with anyone. He can be serious when he wants to and challenge the main event (where Lindsay Troy and Nova would be PERFECT foils for him) or stay in the secondary title area where he could have classic feuds with guys like GBJ and D!

Yori Yakamo, Jr. - While I'm a huge fan of Hida, I'll take the other Yakamo brother here for the sheer insanity and the more recent cred he has from being an NFW Season 2 finalist. Plus, I think Jeff would have an easier time writing him as opposed to Hida.

The Codemaster - After the gimmick post, how could I not have him on this list? Another character with versatile card mobility like SJH, Codemaster could really work with anyone on the card. He's another candidate for a hot, entertaining feud with Almasy, just because of the nature of both their characters.

Ravager - He's the no-nonsense enforcer in the group to balance out the goofiness of the first three. But don't let that fool you. Allan is a versatile and creative RPer, and he can certainly add an element of levity that would belie Ravager's serious persona if given the chance.


James Irish - When you have James on the roster, you know you're going to get a solid effort, week in and week out. He's a good comedic handler who works well with everyone unlike some other comedic characters who only mesh well with a few types of characters.

D! - I know D!'s been heel forever now, but I look at the run he had in the first ToC, and I'm still amazed today. The charisma is animal, it's off the charts and something that any fedhead should want. I really think that in a wrestling-promo/trash-talk styled RP fed, D! would be the best counterpuncher on the roster.

Troy Douglas - Megatron is that workmanlike character that everyone seems to take for granted until he's not there as a reliable anchor. He's now getting his chance to shine in A1E, and probably soon enough in EPW as well, and I think that he's a good fit on any dream roster.

Garbage Bag Johnny - One of the best parts of AWC towards the end was GBJ, whose quirks (along with Adam Dick's) added a fun dimension to the otherwise srs bsnss of the main event. I can see him having a good contrast-of-styles feud with 187 and a mind-blowingly weird feud with Yori.



Slambo the Clown - Almost a given with 187 on the roster. He can do multiple things, like join 187 in the tag ranks, be an anchor for the secondary title division, even set up an angle down the line where he breaks from 187 and turns face.

Lowell Dot Com - I know I have a shit-ton of comedic heels already, but how could I pass up the opportunity to get Devin's best character on the roster?

The Wraith - He's a rising star in A1E, and before long, I think he could be in main events there. He fills the role of monster heel well without RPing like a generic variant. A lot of thought for a big guy character.

Donovan Astros - He started out great in A1E, but kinda disappeared. I know he's back in NAPW, but admittedly, I haven't been following it enough lately to comment on what he is now. Regardless, he can play a great cerebral and cocky heel, and he has a good handle on how to present a character.


Olvir Arsvinnar - C'mon, how could I have a fed and NOT include the Butt Dominator?

Fusenshoff - I really do feel that Fuse is the future of the FWC circuit at the very least. He's the first new guy from a new handler to come along and really electrify in his first couple of years. Once he breaks through and wins a major World title - which could be as soon as TEAM SuperShow X - he won't stop. I'd love to see Fuse go up against some of the more established stars at any point in the process.

Fanatic - At first, Fanatic would continue his feud with Wraith that he has going in A1E, but I feel like he could segue into any number of feuds, especially with the amount of cerebral heels in the mid- and upper midcard that are present in the fed. Plus, I gotta have Pena on the roster, and I figured I'd rather see more of Fanatic than Tact for now.

Impulse - A great new character from a seasoned and possibly still secret-identitied handler, Impulse is the kind of guy you want to catch while he's still on the ground floor.

Tag Teams


The Unfuckables (The Illustrious Face-Eater, Mike Wade) - Either one of these guys could break off and make a great main event run like Facey did in AWC and like Wadey could have done had he not left for a bit. However, their antics together are too tantalizing to pass up for tag team mayhem.

The Professionals (Craig Miles, Eddie Mayfield) - Again, either of these guys could be heel anchors for the company, but together, the heel forces would be so awesome that if I didn't team them, I'd be doing the world a great disservice.

The Enigmas (Michael Manson, Felix Red) - This was never an established tag team, I don't think, but I think they'd play off each other well both in RPs and in the write-ups.


The New and Improved d-X ("The Beast" Bruce Richards, Stylin' Kyle Roberts) - The most dominant tag team in NAPW history is here to show people how it's done. Even though they're probably better as heels, I think they can play the iconic or even cool heel-style face with aplomb.

The Cameron Cruise Project (Joey Melton, Cameron Cruise) - Again, they spent most of their run straddling the fine line between heel and face, but this team was made to be cheered. Plus, Tard always brought out the best in Siegel. These guys would have a classic feud with any number of established or makeshift teams on the roster.

The Dogs of War (Jason Payne, Chris McMillian) - Had to include my boy Jason Payne on here, so why not with McMillian in the tag ranks? Good intense tag team to contrast the other two more light-hearted face tag teams in the ranks here.


Anonymous said...

Someone missed the boat on the Hollywood Wrecking Crew and Suicide Kings feud. ;)

Some good names on the list. I wouldn't agree with alot of them due to my personal flavors...but its definitely diverse in terms of communities and writing styles.

Kevin Healey said...

This was a fun read. There's some names on here I don't, but I'd love to get a chance to read some of their work.

Kevin Healey said...


Josh said...

I'd join.

Craig said...

Score, awesome roster. Really surprised I made the upper-card li-- wait just a minute... I'm not on there at all! Why you Thomas...

Good roster overall.

Donovan Astros said...

Man, you guys have me confused with someone talented. I'm the worst. :)