Friday, July 15, 2005

Tag Team Booking

Today's been a rough day, so I think I'll unwind with a little more fantasy booking.

When we last saw UDWA action, Lindsay Troy was crowned the first ever North American Champion with some help from the Cameron Cruise Project, pissing off Karl Brown and Boogie Smallz in the process. ProfT got into some trouble with Beau Michaels, and the brackets for the World Championship Tournament for the first PPV were unveiled.

More importantly for this edition of Sunday Prime Time though, the Tag Team Championship bracket was decided, only instead of a tournament, it was decided that it would take place through a random lottery gauntlet. The lovely Teri Melton (who undoubtedly slept her way onto the show) pulled out two lottery balls that read "Mikey F'n W and Liquid Snake" and "The Psycho Ward." So that's our first match of the evening.

Match 1: Mikey F'n W and Liquid Snake vs. the Psycho Ward

The match is what you'd expect, fierce brawling with action spilling out into the ringside areas and even into the stands in the case of Mikey and Torment. While they're in the crowd, Snake has Hyde set up for Hell on Earth, but Hyde blocks, hits Snake with a catapult and then as he's stumbling back, Hyde turns him around and nails him with the Lobotomy for the win.

Teri Melton is back and this time pulls a ball that says "Unemployed College Students"

Match 2: The Psycho Ward vs. The Unemployed College Students

PILE and SJF enter to a thunderous pop. Torment has finally gotten out of the crowd from brawling with Mikey. The match is another fierce brawl. All four men are in the ring, and PILE has Hyde set up for PILE's Best. However Torment clobbers SJF with a Hansen-esque lariat, knocking him into PILE. Torment follows up tossing SJF out of the ring and nailing PILE with the Eternal Torment for the win.


Lindsay Troy and the Cameron Cruise Project are backstage ready for an interview when they're blindsided before they can even speak by Karl Brown and Boogie Smallz. They hold the advantage until Reign bolts on camera like a bat out of hell, wildly attacking Brown and Boogie, letting the CCP and Troy regain their footing and make it a 4 on 2 beatdown until Reign's handlers taze him and the roving band of refs and security break the fracas up.

Cut to the stage again, where Teri Melton picks a lottery ball that says "Chip Friendly and Jeffery Bellview" on it.

Match 3: The Psycho Ward vs. Chip Friendly and Jeffery Bellview

Hey guess what? Another brawl! The Psycho Ward's luck would run out here as Chip Friendly's distraction of the ref and Jeffery Bellview's sneaky attack with brass knucks helps them eliminate Hyde and Torment from the tournament.

Teri Melton's back and she picks a ping-pong ball with "Euclid and Druid" on it.

Match 4: Chip Friendly and Jeffery Bellview vs. Euclid and Druid

The fans go CRAZY as one of the classic A1E tag matches is recreated. A classic affair, just like in the summer and fall of 2001 but with Euclid and Druid getting the win after a spike piledriver to Chip Friendly as Bellview is kncoked off the top rope after going for a maneuver.


Cut to the backstage with Troy Windham, who extols every one of his heelish virtues from the last 90 days. He's interrupted by Alias, who's still not too pleased that he got beaten through chicanery in the UNIFIED World Championship tournament. Verbal standoff with refs preemptively striking.

Back to Teri Melton, who picks out "Big Dog and Gladiator," causing the fans to go apeshit.

Match 5: Euclid and Druid vs. Big Dog and Gladiator

This match is the match of the night. The old rivals battle with intensity, especially when Euclid and Big Dog are in the ring together. Each man in this match kicks out of a finisher, but at the end, it takes a Roman Candle from Gladiator AND a Dog Pound from Big Dog on Druid consecutively to put down the previous winners. The competitors shake hands as a sign of respect, but the announcers question wehther Dog and Gladiator have enough gas to win the next match, let alone the last two matches.

Teri Melton is back and she picks "The Cameron Cruise Project" out of the bin. Cut to a scene backstage where the Professionals are watching the ball being picked. Eddie Mayfield realizes that they'll have the last spot and be the favorites to win it all and rubs his hands together in anticipation while Craig Miles just drinks whiskey with a blank look on his face.

Match 6: Big Dog and Gladiator vs. The Cameron Cruise Project

The CCP have control of this match through the beginning, but Dog and Gladiator find their second winds and fight back. Towards the end, there's an obligatory ref bump, and Lindsay Troy comes out of the back with her North American Title belt. She runs in the ring with the intentions of clocking Big Dog, but W. Clark comes rushing out of the crowd and spears her before she can make her move. Big Dog hits Melton with the Dog Pound and gets the win after that.


Reporters catch up with Clark in the back and they ask him why he of all people made the save, and he says it's because of the respect he had for Boogie Smallz having wrestled him tooth and nail in the NA tournament and wanted to get some measure of vicarious revenge for him.

Match 7: Big Dog and Gladiator vs. The Professionals

Miles and Mayfield Fargo Strut out from the back looking to prey on the drained Dog and Gladiator. The match starts quickly for the Pros, but Dog and Gladiator fight back. Looking to get some momentum back, Miles goes for Whiskey + Fire = DRAGONFIRE~! but Gladiator rolls forward, hops up and nails him with the Warrior's Death while Dog knocks Mayfield off the apron. Gladiator gets the pin and Big Dog and Gladiator are your first ever UDWA Tag Team Champions to the disbelief of the announce team and the delight of the crowd.

More later... I may do one more show before the PPV.

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