For those of you who remember from A1E, Captain Suleimon is far from a new character. I debuted him in A1E early in 2001 to much fanfare, and he did have a high-profile feud with a then wet-behind-the-ears character known as Gladiator. Outside of a win in the first match over Vince Russo (yes, someone ran a character called Vince Russo who was a caricature of the real thing), he jobbed merciliessly.
I got so disheartened with the jobbing that I retired him and made him the punchline of any jobber joke in the A1 E-fed OOC forums. Back in the day, I was very, very immature in regards to my reactions to wins and losses. It was a big reason why I changed up JA's character so drastically after the Cyber Title loss to Chip Friendly at the first numbered Golden Dreams.
Truth be told though, I still get those feelings sometimes. It's very hard to change completely and stay changed all the time. And I admit, I feel them from time to time, and I've felt a little disheartened as to my stay in AWC so far, and not for anything else but that I haven't been winning matches a whole lot.
As an aside, this doesn't have anything to do with how AWC is run; I stand by Hyde's A that he got as AWC fedhead, and I still think shows and angles there are very entertaining. You NEVER base a fed's quality on whether you yourself do well in it, because that is the height of selfishness and petulance.
Anyway, back on target, it really isn't just the losing that gets to me. It's just that no one really gives me a whole lot of feedback on things I do unless I prod them for it, and while I understand the squeaky wheel gets the grease, I see a lot of other folks get feedback on their stuff unprovoked and it gets to me. It makes me feel that people don't appreciate what I do there.
I mean, it is getting better. I can see I've gained at least one person following what I've been in Fergus (Jack Murphy's handler), who has commented on stuff I've done for the past month or so. But it's like that's all. I mean, I see predictions threads and everyone picks the guy whom I'm facing. I mean, I understand that Darcy Crisis is a fan favorite character in AWC. He's also among one of the best characters in the fed and one that I follow as well. Nathan (his handler) is also a cool guy and a hell of a writer. But for not one person to think that I might win the match... I mean, it's not a good feeling.
And I know that I really shouldn't be expecting wins out the wazoo here. I mean, I've been in two feuds with two of AWC's best wrestlers (Crisis and Red Rock), and it's really not a big deal that I lost to them. And considering the alternative isn't something I'd be satisfied with (that being facing a bunch of scrubs, no-showers and fed-quitters, padding my W-L with meaningless wins and not pushing myself to get any better), I know I shouldn't be too discouraged.
And finally, Suleimon is a character whose heat can stay ultra-strong even in the face of jobbing all the time. I mean, he really is a fool-proof character.
So I know I need to stay the course. But this is where I think I've changed since I started. I might have quit by now five years ago. But really, I think (or at least I hope) I've learned that RP e-fedding is so, so, so much more than wins and losses. I hope I've also learned that patience is a virtue and that it pays to be patient if you keep improving yourself and putting your best foot forward.
So I guess this is the lesson. Don't quit on an e-fed just because you aren't winning right away. If you do, you'll sell yourself short like I did all those years ago.