eW Six Pack: Best E-Fed Gimmicks Ever

Gimmick.

For some, it's a dirty word. Gimmick? I don't need a stinkin' gimmick to get over in eW. For others, like me, it's their bread and butter. I don't think I've had a character that didn't start out as a total gimmick that I've gotten over huge. Arguing the benefits of gimmicks vs. characters that are the handler turned up to 11 is a post for another day.

This post is for the best gimmicks in eW that I've at least seen, in Six Pack form. Now, a few disclaimers. One, best gimmick doesn't necessarily mean best quality. A handler could have a mediocre gimmick, but RP the hell out of it and be a top talent. Plus, most handlers run characters that are part "real" and part gimmick anyway. Two, well, there is no two, only Zuul. Now, without further ado...

The Six Best E-Fed Gimmicks Ever

1. Olivir Arsvinnar, Porn Star Viking - I want to know what was going through Strawsma's mind when he came up with this. Actually, scratch that. I'd probably be deathly afraid of what I'd find there. In all seriousness though, this is the kind of absurd gimmick that could only work in eW, which is usually populated by those smarky Internet fans whose quirky senses of humor give us characters like The Illustrious Face-Eater and Professor Tremendous. Just to give some background to the folks who don't know and are new to the blog (where I've raved before), Olvir is like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, only instead of a caveman, he's a Viking seafarer unthawed in the modern ages. Vikings are good at a few things, some of them being pillaging, drinking, screwing and fighting, all good qualities to have if you're a professional wrestler. Well, maybe not the screwing part, but it helps with the gimmick.

It doesn't hurt that Strawsma's warped mind is the perfect vehicle for this character to roar on all cylinders, or to get in the mood of the character more, to row with the might of a thousand rowers in a Viking longboat. When Olvir is on, there isn't really a character more entertaining to read.

2. Slambo the Clown, e-Wrestling's Answer to Pennywise - This is the Bill Dempsey edition that teamed with Prisoner 187 and the HPSC, not the one that was P-187 in what was the seminal swerve in the early history of A1E.

Anyway, the evil clown gimmick was done in the WWF back in the '90s with Doink. As an aside, I always thought Doink was underrated as a heel. It got a bit too kitschy when he became face, but that's neither here nor there. Now, if you think Slambo mk II was a play off that character, you'd be sorely mistaken. Slambo wasn't really an evil clown as much as he was psychotic, downtrodden, almost subhuman. He was really a clown who was everything that a clown wasn't for most kids (who weren't afraid of them growing up :p).

There was always an underlying innocence behind every Slambo RP, like there was a gentle child behind the savage exterior, and even though he never won a World Championship (while Bill achieved that with Freakfish), I always thought Slambo was his greatest success as a character.

3. Dr. Curiosity, Mad Scientist of the Squared Circle... Literally - This is the prime example of a gimmick that can only really work on eW. If it were tried in the "real" thing, it'd come off contrived and really fuckin' goofy. However, in the e-fed universe, where in-character writing isn't limited to on-camera stuff and is often times better-written than the more outlandish stuff you see on camera for one of the big promotions, it's gold in the right hands.

Andy Hewitt's hands were, and still are, more than capable of turning lead into gold, and I bet Doc C has tried that at one point. The Good Doctor got his start in XUW, which was PTC's resident nuthouse, but he parlayed that success into a crossover smash in the fWo and more recently, NFW.

4. The Codemaster, The Blackest Brother in the Kingdom of Hyrule - Now here's a gimmick that I thought would have worked huge in the WWE. A guy who's so delusional to think that he's a video game overlord... classic. Although Mike Renner will be known for a lot of things in our extended circle before his time's up, this bombastic, video-game trivia spouting villain will rank as his most colorful character (and for a guy who created the traveling geek squad known as Mega Job... that's something).

I think what helps is that Renner probably has an unhealthy addiction to video games and video game characters. I mean, this is the guy who penned (sprited?) the webcomic In Wily's Defense. All in all, whatever fed Codemaster lands in should be grateful to get him and will always get entertaining segments that are satisfying on every level to giant nerds such as myself.

5. El Magick-O (blogger's note: the "O" is for orgasm), The Sexual Wrestling Magician - LVW was such a great concept for a fed because the city itself lends itself to gimmicks. I mean, a crapload of casinos there have some kind of theme going for them, from the Pirates of the Caribbean to scaled-down models of European landmarks. The acts that populate the stages at the lounges there often times are laden with gimmicks. You could find anything to watch in Vegas if you really wanted to, and I truly believe that LVW was a microcosm for that, something that let people try things they'd never try in another FWC fed. This is the fed that gave us the aforementioned Olvir Arsvinnar, Eastern European strongman Hans Novak, a character that was a wrestling Elvis impersonator and in the later days, an actual "dog-boy".

Aside from Olvir, the standout gimmick to me was El Magick-O (the O being for orgasm). Not that there was anything really groundbreaking about it, but it was almost the perfect gimmick to be played in a fed based out of Las Vegas. Of course, the sexual aspect was just icing on the cake, but coming from the warped mind of Mike McNichols, well, that's to be expected.

6. Lowell Dot Com, The Shillin' Villain - A devious, constantly scheming manipulator who sells advertising space on his ring attire? Handled by Devin Woods, who probably huffs as much glue as Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia but writes wrestling RPs instead of rock operas about Dayman?

Sign.Me.Up.

eW Six Pack: The Best of AWC

Wow, a post from me two days in a row. PERISH THE THOUGHT! It seems like the days of me getting two entries up in a day sometimes and getting posts up on consecutive days at the very least is a memory, but hey, I try to give you content.

Anyway, today, I thought I'd offer up a six pack for your consumption, and I think we'll delve back into recent eW history and look back at the six best AWC superstars in my view. This is a mix of objective accomplishments and sheer subjectivity, ie, whom I liked and thought was good rather than who was booked to the moon sometimes. You also have to remember that I was only around for one year out of their two year history, but I do think this is a representative list.

HERE GOES~!

1. Pierce Lavelle - This was a hard choice to make, as I could realistically have put my #2 or #3 here, but I think what clinches it for Lavelle is that he had two separate, strong runs at the top, both as a heel and a face, and that he was around for really the entire run of the fed, save a few month stint when Lara (his handler, who's a she!) had to concentrate on law school. Granted, Lavelle may not have made this list if I was doing it based solely on subjectivity; I often found Lara's writing to be a bit too emo and some of the storylines were a bit outlandish. However, I don't think there's any denying the impact the character made on the fed.

2. The Illustrious Face-Eater/Adam Dick - I'm not really sure if there's anyone who was more dominant at times than the Face-Eater was when he was on. He and Mike Wade pretty much dominated the entire fed for nearly half-a-year, and Facey was the one to end Lavelle's epic TA Title reign. I think what holds Facey back from being #1 was Joe Schmidt's abrasiveness OOC. It started some problems behind the scenes, and to me, that's a big deal. Still, he was the lesser of two evils in his biggest behind the scenes feud (Jeremy Jenkins, who rivals Paul Miller for the most malignant cancer in all eW), and everyone did generally get along with him.

3. Garbage Bag Johnny - Honestly, if AWC had lasted six months longer, he might have taken the #1 spot. He basically couldn't be touched for most of his run, winning Zero 2 Hero and shooting straight to the Transatlantic Title, beating both guys ranked ahead of him at Coast to Coast '06. Not only was he dominating his matches, but he was writing the most consistently entertaining segments on any edition of Fresh~! I think anyone who thinks comedic characters shouldn't be pushed to World Title level ought to read GBJ's best stuff (along with a few other select characters, like Professor Tremendous and James Irish) and then decide.

4. Jack Murphy - In character, Jack Murphy was an AWC stalwart, a guy who won every singles title there was to win, and someone you could count on for a quality segment, a great match or a classic angle. My first exposure to him was when he was running the old-school angle, waging war against the "sports entertainment" element in AWC, and it was brilliant, especially given his surroundings. OOC, Fergus Looney was the heart and soul of the AWC locker room. He helped Hyde out when things got hectic, kept people interested during the hiatus between Twilight of the Gods and Zero 2 Hero, and it was wholly appropriate that he was the leader of the AWC locker room at the final show. He may not have had the best run in AWC, but I'll be damned if he wasn't an integral part of the fed and didn't deserve a spot on this list.

5. Mike Wade - I'm shocked that Mike Wade never won the Transatlantic Title. I had him pegged as the breakout member of the Unfuckables, but it was Facey who went on to be the HYOOOGE star. Still, that's not to say Wade's AWC run was a wash. He held three titles at the same time and had some pretty big wins. He might have gotten his TA run had he stuck around a little longer, but His Swerviness still provided some kicks in-character as the commissioner of AWC.

6. Paddy O'Shea - Many people may argue this one. Darcy Crisis, Alexander Strider, Aimz, Red Rock, Andy Murray, Chainz or the Furious Fists of God might be better suited for this spot, but despite Mick's flakiness, I think Paddy's always been a part of the fabric and lore of AWC. He was huge in the beginning, and towards the end, he was still around and entertaining, mainly as Josh Marquez's foil around the time of Coast to Coast. Sort of a sentimental favorite, but he does have the credentials to be on this list too.

eW Six Pack: Best Secondary Title Runs

Before we get to the main entry, a correction and a plug. Firstly, as pointed out by Bobby Nickens and BenCaldera himself, Outlaw Pro will not be run by Ben, but it will be supported and hosted by Ben. Still though, I have to endorse it, seeing that his endorsement is good enough for me.

Second, speaking of CalderaBen, he's gone out and gotten himself a blog. For those of you looking at more of a PTC-centric view on things, there's your blog.

Thirdly, I'll have more on the GCW/PRIME supercard, but I will say that this is the event the PTC community has been waiting for for a long time. With GCW back strong, now's as good a time as any to do this. I'll be looking forward to it.

And now, for something completely different...

Jeff Paternostro has been doing "Six Packs" on his regular blog, and I ganked that from him. Now, I'm going to bring the idea here, mainly because it's a good content filler for when I'm busy or feeling somewhat removed from current events like I am now. Trust me, things are hectic for me right now, but maybe I'll get caught up on some feds while I'm in Virginia.

Anyhow, Six Packs are basically just lists of six for a given topic. They may be numbered, but assume that all of them are in no particular order. Tonight's Six Pack...

The Six Best Secondary Title Reigns I've Seen

1. Torment, A1E Cyber Championship

Back in the early days of A1E, the Cyber Championship was kinda passed around like a hot potato. At one point, I think it changed hands three straight cards. Then, this force burst onto the scene and just started mauling people. Torment, a guy who topped out as a tag guy in MBE, came over and he was this irresistible force, bursting his way into a Cyber Title shot within five matches. He summarily dispatched Xavier Storm and he brought an air of stability to the Cyber Championship that no one really could bring before. It was incredible. There was one angled title switch at the first Vengeance, but other than that, no one could beat the guy. For those who remember him in his later A1E times less than fondly, it might come as sort of a shock that he'd pull off something like that, but still, back then, it was a sight to behold.

2. Karl Brown, EPW Intercontinental Championship

This is a current reign, and what a reign it is. Say what you will about the frequency of EPW's cards, but to keep a title like that for two years is almost unheard of, no matter what. To think, you have to stay on your game and be sharp, even over long layoffs. That can be harder than defending in a "quick" fed, especially since you can build up some momentum and get into a real groove. Whoever defeats Karl will end up having a big rub and it'll free Karl to go up to the main event, where he can try to get to the next level.

3. Rat, MBE Extreme Championship

People think that Torment doing what he did with the Cyber Championship "came out of nowhere," but in retrospect, he did have a good run in MBE, and he showed some flashes there. Rat though... his handler, Mikey Nunes, made a career being the lovable jobber in A1E as Mikey F'n W. Sure he improved to the point where he was a vital part his team with Snake, but no one ever thought he could pull off dominant. And yet, there he was as Rat, just owning everyone with this superb gimmick, a mentally tortured decrepit young man with a bitch girlfriend who controlled him. He could have taken the character so much further, but as with many of us, his own ambition undid him. When he introduced Spyder, a very mediocre cocky character meant to be Rat's brother, it took some intensity and focus from Rat, and both characters suffered. Shame, but it was a really sweet run while it lasted.

4. Chip Friendly, A1E Cyber Championship

If Torment brought the Cyber Championship into the modern ages, then Chip Friendly could very well be its definitive holder. He held onto that title for over a year, I believe, and he took out everyone. He beat Big Dog in a program, and a few months later, Dog became World Champion. Even when Canuck FINALLY wrested the strap from him, it wasn't necessarily because he was better than Chip. It was the equivalent of a mercy killing, the voters taking the title from Chip to elevate him. Still, one thing that confounds me to this day is how Chip was never given the chance to follow up that career-making reign with a strong World Title program.

5. Vangelus Olsig, PRIME Intense Championship

I came into PRIME at the tail end of this run, but still, Tywon held onto the belt for over a year. PRIME's a pretty competitive fed, and PTC feds seem to put more focus on the competition than the angles. I don't know how much of this was due to Tywon's inactivity, but still, you'd think if he was really lagging, they'd have stripped him of the title. An impressive run no matter how you slice it.

6. Jared Wells, BAD Championship (WFW)

This was another starmaker run, and Wells went through a lot of challengers, both established and upstart, to keep this title and make it nearly as prestigious as the fed's World Title. His run with this belt has seemingly made Barry Clark into a main event-level talent without having won a World Championship. It's a shame that both the feds he's in are lagging right now, because there's no doubt in my mind that he'd have gotten there by now.